Destress Your Wedding and Say “I Don’t” To Debt

As a bride-to-be plus someone with a bit of “life experience “, the subject of weddings is of interest to me.

I’ve spent many Friday nights scrolling the online scrapbook Pinterest, tying in words like: “Spring Wedding”, “Cheap Boho Wedding Glam” and “DIY wedding.” to my  Pinterest boards.

DIY wedding ideas. Cheap but not cheap looking wedding looks. How to have a wedding for the cost of parking change. My computer will testify that these are recent bonafide Google searches of mine.

See, the thing is: I’ve never planned a wedding before and also I’ve also never been the type of girl to picture my wedding day growing up or into my adulthood.

Actually, I lie. There are some photos of me dressed up as a “bride” for a kinder dress up day. (The “groom” dressed as a cowboy, was both an unwitting and unwilling member to this marriage contract and only posed for a photo with me because his mum made him.)

With a gap between my front teeth and messy hair (yes, the boho look has been around for a long time) this was my first foray into the world of weddings.

Time went on, school began and other things preoccupied my mind. I discovered reading, stories, art, cats, “playing with friends” and the wonder that was licking the mixing bowl.

In saying that, I’ve always had a strong respect for marriage. An honouring of it as a sacred and powerful promise which can weather the test of time. A young loving couple enters a time machine and 50 years later an older loving couple emerges carrying generous bouts of their new friends, Resilience and Faithfulness. That’s the plan, anyway.

My dream wedding was not a topic I often thought about or planned.

Although I secretly hoped to hold it in a grand English cathedral thing with the passing beauty of the noonday sun, that plan came to a halt when I found out Westminster Abbey didn’t have my day free.

I’m blessed to have the groom part happening but there’s still the wedding part to come. And it’s not too far off either.

The marriage thing is very important to us.The wedding is too but as I’ve recently discovered, wedding planning can be very stressful. The main reason this is, is because it involves expectations.

Pleasing the bridal couple, family, friends and of course complete strangers and influential acquientances. Don’t forget about the “unspoken” expectations either. Also, it involves money. Resources. Energy. Nights on Pinterest. Etsy visits. Ebay scrolling. Bridal mags. Bridal websites. Ideally, it involves a Cert 4 in Event Planning.

But did I mention money? Money, money, money!!! At this point, I can’t help but sing Abba’s “Money Money Money” song in my head.

Although tradition demands that the bride’s family pays for the wedding, tradition isn’t always possible. The bride and groom’s parents could be unavailable to contribute financially for a lot of reasons. Divorce, death and a lack of available thousands of dollars could replace the luxury of such traditions with survival.

In a lot of cases. the bride and groom now bear the cost of their own wedding, Let’s consider this. A wedding survey conducted wo years ago showed that $48,296 is the average cost of an Australian wedding. As a freelance writer, that’s a lot of blogs for me to write.

Being 28 years old,  I’ve had my share of financial experiences. I was the untrustworthy 19 year old with a credit card who bought shoes and then a trip to Paris.

Like the main character of “Confessions of a Shopaholic”, I’ve battled my own (though thankfully not as severe) versions of “shoppaholic-ism”.

Like Madonna, I’m a material girl. But I’m also a reformed material girl. Budgeting, Excel spreadsheets and reading fine print are now things I love.

One day *hopefully* I will be a famous writer and able to live in a castle with a friendly pet dragon (as pretty as the Shrek one) for a guard dog and a ribbon-wearing unicorn who will prance about in my leafy meadow but until then, I don’t want to spend mega bucks on a wedding.

We’ll use some traditions and reject others. Our wedding is between us and God in the presence of many witnesses. That’s what matters. I’ll wear a pretty dress and he’ll be looking suave in his suit. Around us will be friends, family and many folk we love. And it doesn’t have to cost $48,296 either!

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