Emperor Claudius and His Ally, Barbara

One day there was a cat called Claudius. 

I am the emperor of kingdom.

When he roamed his district, velvety paws making soundless noise, his presence was noted.

And noted by Barbara, an ally from a neighbouring kingdom who welcomed him with offcuts at the back of a shop. Thank you Barbara.

Barbara would beckon and the Cat King meowed thanks for the meat. 

But she needed to be repaid for her homage. 

I should really thank Barbara.

Her kindness stood out as the world changed – female cats now tucked inside with their owners; being patted and fed fake food out of tins like the mockery it was. Oh the ignorance of owners!

He was glad he was not “kept” – confined to awful couches and 6.30pm current affair shows on television and sleeping in laundries and garages.

He left her a mighty gift.

 I hope she likes it.

No need for a card, but the feathers and a half-eaten bird would show ample thanks. 

But he was curious about the tins too. Perhaps he would try it too but first he had to get into a house, even watch the 6.30pm news.

So he followed Barbara home, smelling the cat inside and the shouts of the news anchors screaming. It was 6.30pm and even a king needed the fake food sometimes.

I shall explore my new kingdom but first I will find my throne. Timely, dear reader, there – there is a box on the kitchen floor. If I fit, I shall sit!

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